An Audience of Eavesdroppers

A Personal Message For More Than One

Whenever I actually publish I have someone very, VERY specific in mind. It helps me focus, stay authentic, and as unadulterated and keen as I’m meant to be. Yes, I’m talking to YOU. What’s so ironic is how more than one person can swear I’m talking to them. That’s the love and importance of being a writer. Not the ability to regurgitate thoughts and apply grammar rules, but the ability to connect with people who are eavesdropping on a very direct message. What’s even more ironic is that the person/people who THINK this message is for them swear they’re nothing like the person this message is actually meant for. Enjoy wondering who you are. You’ve become (probably were all along) who claimed you never were. You’ve become the reason I look beyond. This is bittersweet, because you’ve become what keeps me from complacency. You’ve become what makes me realize there’s more, and that more is within me.

Trusting Cautiously but Willingly

I’m very cautious of people in general. Truthfully, there is no reason for me to trust you *until I give you reason to trust me (* I actually meant to say “ until you give me reason to trust you”, but I’ll keep this slip of the tongue because it’s flawless and enlightening to my subconscious). There’ also no reason for me to act like I don’t trust you, which is why I believe everyone deserves kindness, forgiveness, and to be treated on an individual basis. The problem with being standoffish and perceptive, is that you’re intriguing; intriguing to those who wish to get through, which makes me question intentions. Something I’ve learned is that if you’re questioning someone’s character and intentions, look at the patterns of their past. If they don’t have a history that puts you at ease, don’t assume they’re going to begin this life of integrity and character with you.

Relationships

Many people (including myself, sometimes) can only see their own flaws once they’re alone, which often happens once they’ve disrespected someone out of the room. Too many times have I felt empowered and lonely after I’ve revoked what I have to offer, which made them realize what they lost for us to start over after an apology. Having things and people removed from me without preparation and authentic explanation makes me grateful for the dirt I pitch a tent on. You never know what you will have in the next moment and you won’t fully realize what you had until it becomes the last moment. What I’ve learned along the way is that people will fight for you and if you trust them and their opinion, you must trust they are fighting to keep something you may not see. I’ve learned that in any kind of relationship, you can’t keep deciding if this is the breaking point, you have to decide if this person is worth getting back up with and continue moving forward from there.

Be Like Water

I’ve decided to keep going and growing. Like water and the tide, what can’t keep up will be washed away. I don’t need to do anything other than follow my intuition (and it. is. strong) to be who I am meant to be. I wish that you too, will go and grow unapologetically and transform your realizations into actions that bring you closer to the people you are meant to serve.